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Don’t Judge Mamas

Something pretty traumatic happened to me this week and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I thought I would share it with you all. I hope that this may change the way you look at other moms because we can all be guilty about passing judgement.

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We spent they day at a playground with friends. We trekked up to 14th Street and the West Side Highway with a totally of 5 kids. It was hot and humid. On the way back Siella refused to ride on the buggy board and I didn’t have my second seat attachment on and she wanted to held. I held her for as long as I could and finally after 45 minutes of walking home, I simply couldn’t do it anymore. She needed to walk or ride on the board and she refused to do both. So I took her by her hand and walked along, about a block till our apartment, with her screaming and crying. A lady and her husband were walking near us and the lady kept looking at us. I was already done at this point and kept thinking in my head; yes I look like a complete shit show, I know. Gemma of course started to cry as well. We kept walking and I tried not to look at the lady who was clearly looking and passing judgement on me. Just as I turned to walk into my lobby she mumbled something loud. I turned around and asked “excuse me” and her response: “Thank the Lord she’s going home, my ears.” I yelled something back at her, what I said I can’t remember. I think either “are you kidding me” or “you are disgusting”. The kids had no clue what had happened. But at this point I saw red and was just beside myself. I was mortified yes because my child, a two year old, was screaming, but also felt so violated and offended like I was being a bad mom for letting her cry. It’s not like we were in a restaurant, we were out on the street, I was holding her hand and she was just screaming for me to hold her and I simply couldn’t anymore and needed a break. A mom who was outside with her kids heard what this lady said and came running in to see if I was OK. She proceeded to say that was just ridiculous what had happened.
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I quickly got into our elevator at this point and just was in a state of shock! Of course when we entered our apt Siella completely stopped crying. The more I kept thinking about it, the more I would get angry. I kept thinking if only I would’ve said this or I should’ve said that. I mean it’s totally over with and I’m slowly getting over it.
I’m curious to know if ill ever run into this woman again. She does live in my complex, but I’m not even sure if I would recognize her.
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My point being don’t judge anyone! Did that woman know I walked home from 14th street after a day at the park? Did she know I was carrying her for almost the entire time before I gave up? Did she know my husband is out of town and it has been just me for an entire month? Does she know my kids don’t sleep at night and I wake up at least three times with them every single night? When you see something like this don’t judge or come down on the mother. There are many factors why kids are misbehaving. We were outside in the streets of NYC… where anything goes!

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4 thoughts on “Don’t Judge Mamas”

  1. I feel you! I’ve had similar experiences living in Brooklyn. I’m 8 months pregnant and have an almost two year old and sometimes we have full on meltdowns on the sidewalk, at the bagel shop, at Target while checking out…honestly, it’s totally embarrassing but the mama bear comes out in me and I really don’t care what anybody thinks. I’ve had really rude things said to me and I’m shocked how unhelpful and judgmental others can be—at the same time, I’ve also had total angels offer a hand or a smile or whatever and it made all the difference. It just makes me want to be that person who smiles at a parent who’s having a horrible time, or offers immediate help + no advice. We’re all in this together and raising kids in NYC is super, super hard. Power to the moms! You’re an amazing mother and your kids are great. Best wishes with your super busy schedule! You’re doing a great job.

    1. Thank you so much for your message and sharing your story. We sometimes need to take a step back and realize some people are just not kid friendly and we are doing the best we can.

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